Why I Stopped Blogging

Tahrir "Liberation" Square

I don’t know how to start writing this. Obviously I am back to Japan. I should be using this space to update on my adventurous, unforgettable winter break which I spent with a backpack across South East Asia. But actually that’s the last thing on my mind at the moment.

On January 25th, while I was still roaming around Kuala Lampur, I came across a computer with internet access, a privilege that wasn’t always granted throughout my trip. I checked my email and browsed some news websites. My  inbox had a few emails from friends, updates from school and promotions for the Sennheiser HD 650 headphones. News websites had news about a big protest that took place down town Cario, in Tahrir “Liberation” square.

Of course I cared about the Egypt-related news, but I still thought the protest were over rated – we’ve had them before and we’ll have them again, while the Sennehisers HD 650 were like no other headphones.

By the time I got back to home (7 hour flight+sleepless night+homeless day+8 hour bus), things have become big, unprecedented, amazing, and scary. Tahrir square was holding hundreds of thousands of Egyptians who, despite being attacked by Anti-Riot Police who were using sticks, tear gas and rubber bullets, all agreed on one thing: Mubarak should leave.

I arrived to the dorms with only one thought: I wish I was home. I wish I was in Tahrir.  I contemplated going to Egypt for a few days. Later that day, contemplated terminating my stay in Japan completely. As I browsed 8 tabs of 8 different “cheap tickets” websites, I found that Japan has upgraded its travel warnings to Egypt so all flights from Japan to Cairo have been cancelled.

It’s been a week now. I am miserable, lonely, and all I want is to be home.

People come up occasionally and ask me if my family is safe, they shake their heads and give me an “awww this is so bad…” (“bad is the most inappropriate adjective I can think of), then they carry on talking about welcome parties, cheap grocery stores and the new Spiderman casting. All I want then, is to be home. When I realize that I can’t, all I want is to just….vanish.

Needless to say, the semester has just started but I literally can’t wait until it ends so that I return. New students are flocking but I, unintentionally, am giving the impression that I am an anti-social bitch. I spend my day reading and watching news, roaming around, looking for non-existent Egyptian consulates and crying. I might go out for dinner with friends, but after an hour of pretentiousness, I go back to my corner and resume my fruitless pseudo-online activism.

I don’t know how long this will last. But as long as my heart (and mind) is at home, right in the middle of the masses in Tahrir Square, this space will remain empty from Japan updates. My facebook account, twitter, as well as my previous blog (digressionsind.wordpress.com) will remain active though (in fact, on fire) as I follow things and write about them while being a gazillion miles away, rooting for Egypt, and for its fearless young men and women.

I’m proud of every Egyptian who was brave enough to say that they have had enough. I’m proud of those I always underestimated. I am proud of a generation I didn’t know about, a generation of non-conformists, who care about their country and who are still standing in Tahrir square despite having watched their compatriots falling dead. I’m proud of those who collect the trash in the morning after being attacked by thugs at night.

For those who are still in Tahrir, I say hang in there, I have all the faith in you. For those who are in doubt of it all, I say, no, it is NOT ok to accept dictatorship no matter how good things are for you.

Freedom Martyrs.

And for those 300 Egyptians who have been killed by the regime, I say, you are heroes, and your blood won’t go down the drain.

"Leave already, my hand is hurting"

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dalia
    Feb 06, 2011 @ 03:38:49

    awwww deenz. Hang in there. Egypt misses you too.

    Reply

  2. Ahmed Shaheen
    Feb 07, 2011 @ 01:22:48

    Lovely. May I say that I feel like you have become a new-born Egyptian! I’m not in any way doubting your patriosim, but I have always sensed your loss of faith and hope in Egypt and its people in your previous writings. I’ll now take these rantings as bitter call for bettering the country.
    You’re missed Dina. Try to enjoy yourself there…Egypt has taken a better turn now.

    Reply

  3. Sarah El Masry
    Feb 07, 2011 @ 10:49:17

    AMAZING as usual… God Bless our Martyrs

    Reply

  4. Stephane
    Feb 08, 2011 @ 11:22:06

    Hey Dina, I simply wanted to tell you that I was thinking about you since the beginning of these events in Egypt. It’s unfortunate, “I Am The People” is not available in Hirakata’s karaoke places ;). Don’t forget yourself through all that. Get the best out of Japan to make Egypt benefit of it after. Take care.

    Reply

  5. Sarah Magdy
    Feb 08, 2011 @ 21:37:48

    absolutely amazing

    Reply

  6. Dina
    Feb 08, 2011 @ 23:57:02

    Thank you all x gazillion.

    Shaheen, I think I’m a new born Egyptian. Of course I’ve always loved my country even though I often bitched about it. You know what s been messing our country up? Those people in power (and all what comes with them; poverty, corruption, ignorance, bureaucracy….) THEY turned it into that. Now that we know that we “can” stand in their face and say “no”, it just makes me full of pride and faith that our country deserves better..

    Stephane, I think I am getting back on track 🙂 No karaoke, yet, but maybe next time I will rock on for a while without the help of the karaoke machine 😉 Really, really miss having you around. x

    Reply

  7. Grega
    Feb 16, 2011 @ 22:59:21

    Dina excellent post, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about the situation. I hope you’re doing okay. BTW, I’m now going to that volunteer association for learning Japanese that you found in Hirakata (in one of your previous posts). Take care.

    Grega

    Reply

  8. Trackback: Things I Need to Get Out of my System « On Samurai, Salarymen and Sushi…
  9. Maha el Kholy
    Apr 09, 2011 @ 00:57:34

    Amazing 🙂

    Reply

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